Welcome to you all, recently I have had the dis-pleasure to have read many blogs from women who had issues with supposedly GOOD MEN. It got me thinking on what were some common mis-conceptions about Males, Men, and Good Men. It seems that so many of you ladies have been dealing with "lesser Males" that when you do come across a man who does what he is suppposed to, you consider him a GOOD MAN. On the contrary, Men do what they are supposed to and good men, are those exceptional and extraordinary Men that stand out from the rest. If a man is paying his child support, he doesnt get extra credit, thats what he is SUPPOSE TO DO! Now if he does that and pays for private schools, and healthcare on his own dime, then well yeah that is a little more than normal. If a man opens the door for you and is courteous, hello again thats what he is SUPPOSE to do! Going the extra mile would be if this man continues to act this way with all women because for him women deserve such respect. Thats still what he is suppose to do as a gentleman yet many stop at just their wives or girlfriends..this is a common courtesy that should be extended to all women. A man who has a job and pays his bills, a man who is only with one woman (when he has a woman) etc etc.. thats not extraordinary that is what a man is suppose to do! So what makes for an exceptional man, that would throw him into the GOOD MAN category? You tell me......
I've often said the same thing your saying here. Just because a man takes care of his kids doesn't make him a cut above the rest. It's his job. Nobody should be given "extra credit" for something that they are suppose to be doing.
Good man category? I guess everything you mention and also if he's just not only true to me...but also to himself and God.
All I can say is...A man will go above and beyond for a lady who treats him with dignity and respect. It is time that we, as women, started respecting the men in our lives who do what they are supposed to do and then the men, in turn, will be more apt to go above and beyond. Too few women respect a hard working, bill paying man. Which must make it hard for men to go above and beyond. The same goes in reverse.
So true...a good man is not one just because he handles what he's supposed to handle, just like being a sperm donor does not make you a father. It takes work and commitment and the presence of mind to know what you've got when you've got it and cherish and respect it! But first that man must be true to himself and be comfortable with who he is or else he will not be true to anyone else. You can come correct if you have no idea who you are and with that comes confidence of who you are and what you are capable of giving or not giving and being honest and forthright about it.
Exceptional.....one who can do all of the above along with the following:
- Finds time to know himself inside and out, continually seeking self improvement. - Takes the time to listen......I mean really listen, not just "hearing" what you are saying. - Honest with himself....if he's not honest with himself, he won't be honest with you. - Knows we are all not perfect....and acknowledges his own flaws
With that said....the same qualities should be found in an "exceptional' woman.
