welcome to the weekend bloggy.... just a few quick things today:
CNN is broadcasting the attack, the brutal attack of a white teenager on a Baltimore bus. This attack was violent and could have ended up with the womans death. I totally believe a hate crime was comitted. On the other hand, I'm a bit confused at HOW FREAKING FAST IT MADE THE DAMN NATIONAL NEWS!!!.. Gee a blackwoman is abducted, gang raped for days, made to eat feces, and urine, and all the while is being called racial slurs, and we BARELY HEAR about it other than as an aside not worth more than two sentences. I think both acts are hate crimes and that the perps should be dealt with...all perps to include the BIASED media coverage TOO!
anyways - - you have a wonderful date, and this person can freaking kiss GOOD! You agree to go back to their spot, and when you get there, the homes aroma kind of makes you feel like WHOA...then you notice a bit of clutter in the place, hell most folks are busy and dont have time to have an EMMACULATE home. The living area is together just the den and some of the kitchen..you understand that...but thats still not the sexual deal breaker..that comes as you enter the bathroom!! You see it is suspect at best, and the bedroom superadjacent to it, looks like DAMN. Still you are not detoured. Until you spot some very MANGY underwear on the floor. Now your out the door...ewwwwwww this scenario can be re-wound and played for both sexes.. what i wnat to know from all of you today, is what are some Sexual Deal Breakers you cannot possibly get past, when visiting someone's home you would LOVE to be intimate with.
finally - - Ive been kind of in a retrospective and reflective mood of sorts lately. I'm really wondering if I am truly ready for a relationship for more than a week or two months. Sometimes you can over analyze things to the point where you are never ready. Yet I believe that my mistakes in the past have truly affected how I view my present. How I trust women , and want women to trust me. I just think my refinement has run its course and that I need to seriously consider the possibilities once and for all. Is that a good thing??
WOW about the hate crimes: Well I don't know why we get so upset, this year the world has clearly reminded us that they could give a DAMN about the black race.
about the sex: a dirty house would definitely be a turn off, bad breath, and if I ain't "feeling" you beyond your ability to kiss..then you can FORGET IT!
Yes, both are hate crimes and both should be treated as such. As far as the media?? I just shake my head in disgust.
LMAO@ MANGY underwear. You've heard me say it before J...A woman keeps her pussy like she keeps her house. Believe dat! Deal breaker for me is about the same, nasty ass crib. All bets are off if you have a bunch of cats and it smells like it too. I only like the smell of my own pussy. lol.
Only you can answer the last question J. I know for me I get pretty reflective this time of year also. I try to keep myself in check so I don't get carried away with what I'm feeling at that MOMENT. As my feelings can change with the weather. I'll give you an example: last night after work I went to TGIFridays for a couple beers. I was waiting for my co-worker to arrive and was people watching. A lady got seated behind me and I heard her tell the server she was waiting for her husband. And when she said "husband" she said it in a very loving tone. A few minutes later in walks her husband who walks over to her and greets her with a loving kiss. I could see and feel they were HAPPY to see each other. My point is this...it made me think DAMN! I want that! I want someone to walk up to me after a hard day and greet me with nothing but love and MEAN it! I sometimes feel like I'm missing out. I don't know. This too shall pass I'm sure. Tis' the season!
Unfortunately, far too many hate crimes against all races go unnoticed everyday. It's not isolated along race lines, either. The media chooses to broadcast what they want based on the political climate at the time. What I'm saying is...if there is a major political issue to be covered up, a huge media blowout typically ensues about some subject totally unrelated in order to cover. If the biased media finds out something about some political figure that they want to play up big, all other stories go out the window while they slander the said person. This is actually the first thing they teach in college journalism 101. Trust me...it's on purpose, and not at all hidden from the average journalist...somehow, though...the average media viewer doesn't get it. Notice I said average there...some of us do indeed get the pattern in the biased media.
As far as clutter...a woman who can't keep her house in decent working order (at the very least) should stop dating and focus on herself and the issues she needs to fix at home, until everything comes into balance. A dirty house is the sign of poor self esteem and poor personal habits.
Searching for someone to have and to hold for longer than a date, a week, a month, or two is not a bad thing. It is something to be desired. Go with your heart, precious.
@Ginny..news flash...THERE ARE REASONS WHY YOU WONT FUCK..Lemme write that down! ok now seriously...
ya know what you said right then about having someone to rush home to, damn this time of year makes you want all of those things twice! I have not really had that in my life in a longtime, well atleast a GROWN WOMAN that is. I hurry down the beltway erryday to get to a christian school to pick up the loves of my life, yet that seems to fill a void for now.. But damn it falls a bit short when you are taking them home to someone eles who is waiting for you.. I posted something in one of the yahoo groups a few days back, and never checekd to see what the reponse was from women.. A homemaker wrote an article about how to make your spouse feel loved. And she went on to outline what she did for her husband, each day he calls her when he is about 15 minutes from home. This gives her time to tidy up the home, get the kids to pick up their stuff and to prepare for daddy when he gets there. She even went up and got herself ready as well. I thought to myself, DAYUUM.. she went on to explain that the family prepares themselves for the arrival of a beloved figure in the home and that it teaches their children how to show this appreciation as well. Her husband arrives to a home, not in chaos, kids happy he has arrived safely to them, and a wife who loves him dearly and is more than ready to show him everyday.. DAYUUM .. ozzie and harriet? Kay jewlers moment? Naaaah just a loving spouse.. wheeeewww makes you think huh? When I was married (all 3 times) what did I ever do for my lover to show them how much I appreciated them everyday and in every way?
I hear ya. The same things run thru my head. And to tell you the truth, I'm glad they do. It helps me grow into the woman and future spouse I'm striving to be. I'm a work in progress. As far as the woman that gets her house in order before her man gets home? The first thing that came to my mind was RESPECT. They both have respect for each other. There is alot to be said for that...
@Ms Ginny, the things you do already make you great spouse material, you just got to find a CUSSIN FUCK Machine that is as equally appealing hahaha ...
i just watched a clip on CNN and a grandson of one of the mall shooting victims, was on air talking about his grandma who was killed. He said that both grand parents had been married 50 years and that family was very important to them, and that the grandma knew they loved her. WOW! SHe nursed her husband through cancer and was tending to her aging mother, when she was taken. Yet she knew she was loved.. isnt that what we all want to know? I mean when you lay your head down at night, the last thing on your mind is never am I loved? Its probably (for me) did them girls brush their teeth? lol
Don't even get me started on the media and what they will and will not hype. They have made journalism a bad word. Hate crimes are senseless acts and it doesn't matter who they are done too....they should be given the respect they deserve for having to have endured the stupidity and immorality of someone who could do such things.
Deal breakers.....well I'm a neat freak as you and maybe Gin even more so know, so if a man's place is disgusting...you can bet the last time he changed his sheets was when he moved in....UGH makes my skin crawl just to think about it! If you have no respect for your domicile then I got issues with that and you.
As for what you should do J, only you can say. Just as only I can say what I would do and I don't know either. But yep the holidays definitely make us FEEL more alone then we normally would.
Deal breakers.....sloppiness. Some men can keep it together on the outside...but then you see where they live.....it's okay for a house to look lived in, but when it's just pure laziness as to why things aren't taken care of to a certain point.....that tells me pretty much all I need to know.
I think you hit it on the nail with the fact that we can over analyze things to the point that you will never be ready.....but at some point you have to trust yourself to make the right choices and stop second guessing every decision you make...there are times that if it feels right, then you just need to go with it, if it's not right it will tell you at some point......sometimes you will never know for sure if something is right or not, unless you give it that chance.
"How I trust women , and want women to trust me"......i hear this a lot, and men and women both want to be trusted on the same level....the key is both parties have to give what they get in order to allow that trust to exist, but honestly, it's hard to find that, but I won't settle for half steppin either, so I guess it exists somewhere.
As to your comment below on the homemaker....nice warm & fuzzy story, but is it really reality these days? NOPPPPPEEEE, unless the man is pulling in some SERIOUS BANK. Most women work outside the home and have careers just as stressful as a man. All it really needs is respect.....meaning if you both work long hours you don't come home and take it out on one another....and I'll leave it at that.
I haven't heard about the attack of that girl yet....guess I'll have to look it up on the internet...
Thanks J...I'm sure Mr. Cussin Fuck is out there for me somewhere. haha.
So true what you said about being loved. I actually sat here and ran it thru my mind...and your right I don't ask myself if I'm loved. It's more like did I lock the door? Did I shut off the kitchen light? What time do I need to be to work tomorrow? Sad...but true.
@Joey.. uuuhhh I have had 5-10 co workers living in the DC VA MD areas that had stay at home wives!! I couldnt believe it either.. but there it is.. It all depends on what you can do .. when i first moved to md, my wife stayed at home for 18months with the newborn, being in themilitary helped but it still was hard. Hell right now with one check (and i get paid mind you) it is hard :(
