Welcome to the bloggy...this is a disturbing bloggy and I wanted to share it with you all, since it involves women, men, relationships, and enabling behaviors! This is an actual conversation I had with my oldest daughter (25yo, college grad) yesterday, and it goes:
"hi daddy, I hope you and the girls are well...."
"Well hello shugga, and how are things with you?
"Well daddy, as you can see I had to change my number again, due to some drama..."
"hmmm drama huh? well let me sit down before you start"
"well you remember Mike right? well I started to see him again and he was up to his old tricks, so i had to set him straight on a couple of things. Daddy, he left the woman he left me for, and then hooked back up with me, then left me for another older woman. He says we are friends, and that he loves me but just isnt in love with me; he tells other people that he really adores my daughter and wants to adopt her; the 30 yo he is presently with he says she is the one for him because she is the first woman he has ever dealt with that he didnt want to have sex with right off the bat...Daddy I told him to keep it moving and to not even put my name or my daughter's name in his mouth ever again! We are so through! I am tired of being his default or transitional lover..I may not be the finest woman in this city but I dont need to be treated like the trash he treats me...I just wanted to hear from a REAL MAN, on if I maybe overreacted or was too harsh on him"
"hmmmm ok baby doll are you done? Cause this is gonna take a minute"
"Yes daddy Im sitting down so fire away"
"Well luv, you again have learned another life lesson, and at this point in your early adulthood I would think you have learned enough with this particular dude and would be teaching lessons by now"
"HAHAHA daddy stop it I'm serious HAHAHA"
"Ok first off, YOU ARE FINEEE.. so dont trip on him!
SECOND - this aint your friend, matter of fact what was he doing in your life let alone my grand daughters life in the first place after he basically abandoned you when you needed him most? nope dont answer your actions already have answered it..you are enabling him and letting him do whatever he pleases! YOu are not a freaking RUG!! so dont act like it..Was it not his decision to move out and go be with his ex when you had open heart surgery a few months back? Yep that was him..and did he not show up to the hospital until day 3!! and only after I told your brother that if he didnt show up before I left that i was gonna make it very hard for him to show up for work and school the next day? Yep that would be the same MO FO..yep ..your true friends were there with you all hours of the day and night and this muthafukka couldnt even tell the ex, "I have to be with her, she is my friend and needs me" nope! not him.. so you let that rat bastard back in your life and you are surprised at how he is treating you? WAKE THE FUKK UP! You know better, so DO BETTER!!
Third - how in the hell is he going to adopt a baby that is not his? He is not the biological father, and he is not married to you either, so who would believe those lies coming out of his mouth? oh nevamind I already know the answer to that one.. so lets keep on down the line here
Fourth - When a man says "I love you but I am not in love with you" then let him keep it moving, and do not UNDER no circumstances let him back into your good graces or YOUR DAMN BED! Im in LOVE with my FRIENDS , Im in LOVE with my FAMILY, Im in LOVE with MY LIFE..when you choose to LOVE you are in it!! anyone that says I love you BUT..there is not BUT...if you dont love me then dont say it!!
Fifth - when a man says "This is the first woman that I didnt want to have sex with.." STOP RIGHT THERE, this MUTHA FUKKA is 24yo... ALL HE DOES ALL DAY LONG IS THINK ABOUT SEX he is 24YO!! HELLO!! how does his mouth even form to make such a statement? Yep he knows how to push your buttons and he knows what the women in your city like to hear.. yep he didnt want to get with her at first, at least thats what he said to you .. and maybe her, but how long did he wait? a week, a month..hell he is hitting it now so if it wasnt on the menu then why all of a sudden it became the main course? Yep it was always on the menu, he just told you and her that just cause! Maybe he likes to say "Noble" shyt which he doesnt mean nor can live up to .. he is young .. young men do that..hell OLD ASS MEN DO THAT TOO!.. your response should have been "Damn she must be ugly or you must have caught something from somebody, cause I aint buying that noise dude! Yep keep it real!
SIXTH - I lost count so let me wrap this up...you got issues with this knucklehead cause you have empowered him to do as he pleases with you, you have never truly required him to respect you and your daughter so he does this type of shyt to you... CUT HIM OFF and especially CUT HIM OUT OF HER LIFE as well! PERIOD! ...
"But daddy i do see good in him and he knows that I am a blessing and that he is missing out on this blessing for sure"
"Baby you been in Georgia way too damn long! God did not send this THING to you..nope this trifling man was sent by something else, to pull you away from YOUR OWN BLESSINGS..HELLO!! You know good and well that God is watching you to see how you DEAL with this, cause in the end, your own salvation will be entwined with this FOOL if you keep it up! Believe me, the one GOd has for you, you will know... you will rejoice each and every day, I will, get a phone call and you will say .."daddy OMG, OMG Sweet Jesus this man is awesome, I cant believe how he has come into my life, this is what I have always NEEDED, the love the adoration the care..OMG he is AWESOME" Yep thats the call I would get, but as you noticed you didnt call me with ol boy, and why was that? cause what you guys had was purely physical, and then he decided to put you on lock down by saying "I LOVE YOU"
and you knew it right then and there that it was game, but you went a long with it and then got CAUGHT UP.. remember we discussed that too!..
Baby, take back your, power, take back control of your heart, and most of all re establish the respect that a man must have for you in order to love you.. if you can do those things then yes yes yes.. I am quite sure that your blessings will flow!
"Damn Daddy, I m glad I was sittting down ..hehehe you are amazing thank you so much, i just knew you had all the right things I needed to hear..MUAH the biggest kiss for daddy"
"yep no problem baby, now when you gonna get your head right and get back to dating them NFL and BBallers again? I need a new car and a nice house, Im getting old and want to retire SOON hehehe "
"Daddy YOU ARE A MESS..and thats why I loves you so MUCH, thank you daddy"
JJ
